Filed under: beliefs | Tags: Alain Pinel, beliefs, blame, Blood of the Dragon, Marin County, perception, Real Estate, responsibility, self-responsibility, Seven Deadly Sins of Negotiation, Steve Dickason, The Daily Motivator, The Motivator
Quote of the Week
“Beliefs are the determinants of what one experiences. There are no external ’causes.’”
— David Hawkins: Internationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, researcher
This quote embodies the essence of the phrase “taking responsibility.” Notice I didn’t say “Blame.” There is enough blame in the world without us blaming ourselves for our experience of life. I am no David Hawkins, but here is how I believe the process works:
Upon entering the world, we each begin to accumulate a unique set of beliefs. These can be as basic as fire burns, or as complex as the prejudicial beliefs we tend to develop toward certain groups of people (the Irish drink whiskey, Germans drink beer, college students drink anything). Throughout our lives we add and refine these beliefs based on experience. Ex: A man being chased by a rival comes across an apple tree. He picks up a handful of apples from the ground and throws them at his pursuer. He makes a decision that apples are weapons. Attracted by the smell of crushed apples he takes a bite. His belief is now modified to apples can be weapons or applesauce.
This long list of beliefs is the basis of our perception, the complex filter through which we view the world. If there was one human perception, there’d be no conflict – but here we are. Since our perception is made up of our beliefs, we tend to see what we expect to see and filter out what we don’t. The old phrase “You’ll Believe it when You See it,” would be more appropriately stated, “You’ll See it when You Believe it.” In summary, the entire process flows like this:
1. Beliefs form our unique perception.
2. How we perceive the world directs our actions.
3. Our actions create our experience of the world.
4. Thus: “Beliefs are the determinants of what one experiences.”
Viewed in this manner, we understand that it is our choice of beliefs that ultimately dictates our experience, not external causes. This understanding is helpful because it allows us to not only stop blaming others for our circumstances; it is the source of our power, what allows us to change our lives for the better.
By changing our underlying beliefs we alter our perception, modify our actions and, therefore,
transform our experience of the world.
Filed under: acceptance | Tags: Alain Pinel, attitude, Blood of the Dragon, focus, Marin County, Real Estate, Seven Deadly Sins of Negotiation, Smell the roses, Steve Dickason, The Daily Motivator, The Motivator
Quote of the Week
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”
Anne Frank
This week, reading this quote jerked me out of my hypnotic fixation on the U.S. financial crisis. I hope it does the same for you.
Does it mitigate the problems? Does thinking about the beauty around us reduce interest rates or provide bailout funds for homeowners caught with rising payments and shrinking home values? Does being happy prevent the further build-up of our out-of-control National debt? Probably not. Will it help us to pay our bills, hang onto our homes, increase our incomes? Well…actually, yes: I believe it can.
Perhaps the most critical trait of successful people is their ability to remain positive, optimistic and confident regardless of the ever-present turmoil that is life. This attitude is what attracts people to them, what makes us believe in their ability to provide consistent quality service even under the most difficult circumstances. When successful people begin to fail, it can almost always be traced back to a failure of attitude.
The words of Anne Frank can impart multiple helpful and potentially transformative messages. The first, and most obvious, is that if Anne Frank could remain optimistic and happy while enduring the horrors of Nazi Germany we should be able to overcome the emotional affects of a temporary credit crisis. I am absolutely embarrassed at how I have let transitory economic conditions bring me down, steal my attention from everything good and beautiful around me.
This quote also reminds me of the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“We are what we think about all day long.”
That’s a pretty scary thought given that my thoughts have been filled with images of financial disaster, natural disaster and frustration and anger from observing the negative, vitriolic presidential campaign. I don’t just believe what Emerson is saying, I know it; I’ve lived it – am living it.
I have already seen the products of my recent negative focus. I’ve notice myself being quicker to anger, using more profanity around my family, having less patience, feeling the necessity of imposing my opinions on others while they are still talking, and have felt a general lack of direction and purpose. Whoa!! This is not me. Or, at least, not who I choose to be.
At our sales meeting this week, we spent the hour discussing the economic meltdown, its affect on the real estate market and how long it might last. And, while I do believe it is important for real estate agents to be informed, one agent came up to me after the meeting and reminded me of what I’d forgotten: Instead of spending so much time talking about what caused the current problems or when they might end, we should accept the current environment and concentrate on how we can thrive and continue to serve ourselves and our clients TODAY.
So, thank you Anne Frank, Ralph Waldo and my insightful agent. Today I choose to think of all the beauty around me and be happy. Tomorrow? I think I’ll just focus on today.
