Unanticipated Success

September 9, 2010

“Every failure is really just an unanticipated Success.”   SD

 We begin with a vision of what we wish to accomplish. Then we visualize our desired result, plan, decide upon a course of action and execute our plan. So far: so good.

Then, after a while, we sit back and examine the results. If they match our initial vision, we label our efforts SUCCESS. If they fall short, we label them with the “F” word – FAILURE. Why do we do that to ourselves? Especially when we have seen over and over again that events we judge as failures almost always turn out to be valuable lessons or building blocks to a greater success.

So, I guess we can chalk it up to bad memory. Why should we care? What’s wrong with judging some of our results as failures and taking steps to rationalize our disappointment?

Well, a couple of things:

1. We don’t like to fail. So, the fear or expectation of failure can keep us from taking risks. And where there’s no risk, there’s no reward.

2. Judging our outcomes as failures tends to bum us out. And bummed out people rarely attract positive relations, new business, good juju into their lives.

Viewing outcomes as failures lowers self-esteem and who needs that? If you can’t feel good about yourself, who can?

In summary, be good to yourself. Love yourself. View all of your outcomes as building blocks, steps along the path you are walking and, therefore, successes.

Judge less

Be kind and compassionate – especially to yourself.

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No PAIN, No GAIN

August 29, 2010

“Wherever you see a successful business, someone
once made a courageous decision.”
-Peter Drucker

 One potential negative consequence of a prolonged economic downturn is a shift toward conservative decision-making. Experiencing loss can make us tentative, less willing to take chances. We tend to avoid risks that may result in additional losses. The problem with this reaction can be found on the walls of just about any weight-lifting gym in America:

No Pain, No Gain.

More elegantly stated:

“We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do.”
Samuel Smiles

If we act only when success is assured, we lose one of our best sources of growth and knowledge – failure. As Henry Ford said:

“One who fears failure limits his activities.
Failure is only the opportunity to more
intelligently begin again.”

Those who turn adversity into success will be those who are willing to accept the possibility of failure and take those actions they believe will lead them to their chosen goals.

“Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.”
Washington Irving

Dare to be GREAT!!!!!!!!


When all is failing, be optimistic!

August 24, 2010

Quote of the Week

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
–Helen Keller

 So, here is the million dollar question: How can you feel optimistic when you just lost 2 escrows and the one remaining is a short sale you’ve been nursing for 8 months? How can you feel confident when nothing seems to be working for you? (I know that was two questions) 

The answer is simple. Your level of optimism cannot be contingent upon how well “things are going.” Self-confidence cannot be contingent on whether you are currently successful. Huh? Yes, that is what I meant to say. Allowing your feelings to be contingent on past and present results is my definition of VICTIMHOOD. 

You have no control over your feelings when you allow them to be shaped by past or current results. They become like corks bouncing on the waves, controlled by the winds and the currents.  Is this how you want to live? Of course not. 

So, how do you break the relationship between what you see and what you believe? The same way you master anything—the same way you get to Carnegie Hall—practice, practice, practice. Detach your feelings from current events. Focus on your vision of the future. Visualize yourself as a happy, healthy, successful person and allow that image to mold your feelings. Yes you will feel better, but more than that—your positive, optimistic attitude will attract people into your life who can help you to succeed.

When you radiate self-confidence, others feel confident in your abilities.


On the Necessity of Failure

February 28, 2010

           

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping.” Thomas Hood

“Failure,” if understood and appreciated, is a critical step in the growth process. It allows us to hone our skills, test our assumptions and find our true paths. Not understanding the benefits of failure can lead to a life filled with lost opportunities. 

Here is my concern: The current market can present more rejection than some of us are used to. When failure becomes something you strive to avoid at all costs, it can actually attract more failure. Fear of failure can keep us from taking risks, force us to play it safe or not get into the game at all. Or, after taking the leap, it can cause us to pull our horse in mid-air.    

Embrace failure as a necessary step on life’s path. Plow forward, test your limits, act in the face of fear—grow.